I was made to walk in the cool of the day with Him

I went on a walk yesterday. I was in my place of sanctuary, a beautiful trail that seems as if it is untouched by man. The only exception are the paved paths that roll over the hills and dip down into the valleys. At the high points the pleasant ache in my calf leads to a magnificent view, an expanse of immense greenery and water. There in the water is my favorite part. Little islands, most with a singular tree on them. Every time I see them I hear in my head "no man is an island" and it reminds me how connected I am to everything around me. How my God is present in us all and in every breath I breathe. It causes me to breathe in deeper savoring the sweet smells of pure oxygen that has been newly released from the rustling trees surrounding me. It allows me to relish in the feel of the cool breeze on my skin and to concentrate on the delicate yet intricate sounds my ears are picking up as the birds sing and the wind blows. Colors seem brighter, the sun holds a rainbow and the clouds are mighty ships sailing above me. I am in heaven, paradise, walking with The Lord in the cool of the day. 

Then I see a little bunch of flowers.

The last time I was here the lord gifted me a beautiful bouquet that I quite enjoyed but had since passed away. It is time for another to take its place. I really thought it special that the Lord had gifted me something freely that prior I had sought to receive from others. I wanted a repeat of the experience. My affections have also grown for wildflowers. They remind me that if He cares so much about them that he would paint and dress them though they are rarely seen, noticed or appreciated, that He does exponentially more for me.

This bunch of flowers were different than the usual little white daisy bunches. They were pink on the ends. "Oooh!" I said to myself, "These are special! Surely these are the ones the Lord wants to give to me today". My walk had just begun and I knew I'd have to hold them the whole time but I was just here yesterday and I hadn't seen them before. They had to be the only ones like this. I went over to the side of the path and planned to pick them. However, they were right behind a little trench in the dirt and in that little trench was a bristly looking vine plant that looked like something from Jumanji. "Who knows what is in that trench and under this brush", I thought. But, I had to step into it to be able to reach the flower.

"Forget it", I told myself.

But then I reasoned.

"The lord wants me to have these. He will protect my foot from serpents", I quoted internally. So, I stepped boldly into the brush and pulled out the flower. "yay! how cute!" 

As I continued walking, I mused at the flower for a bit. I smiled to myself, closed my eyes in the sunlight and enjoyed the sensations running through me. The air felt so nice I took my sweater off, tied it around my waist and tucked the little bunch of flowers in. "How clever I am!", now I don't even have to hold them the whole time as I enjoy my walk.

Then, all of a sudden I felt something on my left foot. Crawling. I look down and not only do I have a tick on my ankle but about 7 fire ants!!! "Ahhh!" I flick them off and they begin to crawl into my shoe, scatter and latch on with their stingers. Instantly my body responds with histamines and I feel itchy everywhere!

Through the entirety of my walk the constant irritation kept taking me out of the intimate moments with the Lord. 

I continued to stroll, enjoying seeing my two pups hair blowing in the breeze, tongues panting and tails wagging. Their tiny feet quickly stepping synchronically in the cutest way. And then I see something to my left, right off the side of the patch; An entire spread of little pink daisies. (*insert squint face emoji) But, I wasn't upset, I felt the one I had was the one meant for me. I kept walking and left feeling satisfied and refreshed by the lords presence and the conversation we had in that time.

But later, The lord began to speak to regarding this experience. He has been teaching me His nature. I am used to, familiar with earning things. He is a gift giver. The things He gives he adds no sorrow to them. They are prefect gifts and never, will He ask me to get off the path He has laid for me. I should have known that often times the first thing that catches my attention is NOT what the Lord has for me. Many times I have to wait. Scarcity mentality will tell me that I better get it now now matter what the cost. It tells me I don't know when I will ever come across this again. This could be an opportunity, a relationship or even a good find at an antique store. But, if the timing is off and I have to step into a place that hasn't been prepared then its not for me. Just up ahead, He had an entire assortment I could have picked from, even taken a few and had a more beautiful arrangement. Instead, out of habit and my own reasoning I settled for less than and was even hurt in the process.

I write this with a swollen ankle but a happy heart. God is GOOD. He really is. And the journey of discovering just how much His goodness abounds is turning out to be really fun! For me stepping into hardship and "doing something for God" comes more naturally. But what I am experiencing is that He just wants to be with me, He wants me to flow with Him and trust His kindness in the process. 

So the next time anything catches my eye and I notice a "trench" around it I can quickly fix my eyes back on The Lord and keep it moving! 

 If there is anything causing you (as we like to say in the south) to get "ate up", let it go! Brush it off! Tend your wounds, get back on the path and most importantly, talk to God about it. Then, you never have to go through that experience again. Begin with me to trust that He is better and that and He has better for you! In that solace there will be no place for confusion or doubt. That is my prayer for you. 

In Christ, 

Kiana